


A Little Home-Made Tea

by Italianbikini



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:28:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6489832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Italianbikini/pseuds/Italianbikini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During John Laurens's darkest year, a bright light comes in the form of one French-speaking brown-eyed beauty who never shuts up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so this is actually pretty awesome but i'm only half sure where this is going so whoops
> 
> btw john is speaking spanish and navajo (yes i know navajo isn't native to south carolina, but for the sake of it he taught it to himself) and ham and laf are speaking french (obv)
> 
> and poor lil mulligan is speaking english and barely has any idea what's going on aw

Lafayette had been talking about his new cousin all week. They weren’t technically cousins, of course, but it was the closest thing he wanted to call this new kid since he wasn’t related to the Washingtons and neither was the new kid. Mulligan was getting sort of sick of it, Laurens could tell, but Lafayette was just too damn cute to reprimand.

“...George says ‘e is from  _ les Caraïbes  _ and that ‘e also speaks French,” Lafayette gushed for the third time that day. Laurens just rolled his eyes.

“If you’re going to keep going on about him, can we at least get a picture of him?”

“Why? You think he’s gonna be cute?” Mulligan teased lightheartedly. Lafayette laughed as Laurens just sighed, kicking the rock a few feet in front of himself again. They were all on the way home and since they all lived on the same street it was hard to get away from his two best friends when they were being insufferable, like now; but it was something he’d learned to deal with now. They teased him about being gay, even if they weren’t sure. It was fine. Two more blocks then he was home free.

“I think George ‘as a picture of ‘im if you would like to see, John,” Lafayette said, bouncing closer to the smaller boy with an infectious grin. “But ‘e is arriving  _ demain _ .”

Lafayette’s broken English was charming at times, but Laurens knew very little of the language and it was hard to remember the simpler phrases most of the time. He was only in French 3 because of Lafayette’s indisputable bribing technique.

“When?”

“ _ Demain _ . Oh, ‘ow you say... _ merde _ …” He started snapping as he tried to remember the translation, looking towards Mulligan for moral support for a second before he made a noise of acknowledgement. “-tomorrow!  _ Oui _ , tomorrow. I will pick ‘im up and bring ‘im to school during lunch.”

“Are you sure he should be coming to school on his first day here?” Mulligan wondered aloud as they all turned the corner.

One more block then Laurens was home free.

“ _ Oui _ . Papa says ‘e ‘as asked to do it  _ spécifiquement _ . ‘E apparently does not like to…’ow you say...idle.”

“Speaking of idling, didn’t you have practice today, Laurens?”

Laurens swallowed hard. So much for getting away quickly, because they still had half a block to go before any of their houses. “...no.”

“They said on the announcements-”

“I know what they said on the announcements, Herc.”

His short tone made the other two boys stop short for a moment and he got a few feet ahead of them before he realized he was the only one still moving. He stopped and turned, staring perplexed at his friends.

“What?”

“ _Tu_ _parles_ as though something is _faux_. _Qu'est-il arrivé, mon ami?_ ” Laurens recognized that one. _What’s wrong, my friend?_

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“ _ Mon ami _ .”

“I’m just...y’know...not on the team?” Laurens finally admitted, rubbing his neck nervously. These were his friends. Why was he nervous? Was it because he was afraid they would turn him away because his teammates had? Probably. He couldn’t handle losing his team and his best friends in the same day.

“Not on the team? The hell do you  _ mean _ not on the team? You were the best player on the goddamn team,” Mulligan spit out after a moment and Laurens looked up to see him shaking with anger. Lafayette also looked angry, but it showed more in his eyes than physicality.

“They...kicked you on?”

“Kicked me off, yeah.”

“Why in the  _ hell- _ ”

“ _ ‘ercule _ .” Mulligan deflated a little under Lafayette’s steady hand on his arm, but he was still angry. “This is not what  _ notre meilleur ami _ needs. John, would you like to come over tonight?”  _ Our best friend. _ So he still had them.

“I’ll pass, but thanks.”

“ _ Absurdité _ . We will turn on  _ Chicago _ again and let you sing along.”

“My dad won’t like that.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Mulligan huffed, glaring down the street towards Laurens’ house. “Your dad can go piss in a bucket.”

“ _ Ça suffit _ !” That one was new, but Laurens could guess what it meant. “John’s father may not be…’ow you say... _ nice _ ,  _ mais  _ ‘e is still family to our dear friend.”

Laurens snorted quietly but pulled out his phone anyway, steeling himself for a barrage of messages from either his team or his father, but there was...nothing.

“Okay, fine,  _ Chicago _ it is.”

They were only a couple of steps away from Lafayette’s front door when Laurens’ phone began to ring. He winced, but it was only his mother, thank god.

“Hi,  _ amá _ .”

Lafayette shared a glance with Mulligan as he pulled open the door, ushering Laurens in slowly. Once his friend was inside he grabbed Mulligan and shut the door in front of them gently.

“ _ Pensez-vous que nous devons être inquiets à propos de John? Je ne veux pas le perdre, de ne pas quelque chose d'aussi trivial que cela _ -”

“Hey, Laf, chill. I don’t know what you’re saying when you get like that.”

Lafayette sighed, pulling on his ponytail nervously. “Do we ‘ave to worry about our John? I just want ‘im to be  _ ‘appy _ -”

“I think he’ll be alright,” Mulligan murmured, hesitating before putting his hand on Lafayette’s shoulder awkwardly. “He’s got us, remember? We’re gonna take the best care of him. Don’t stress about it.”

“ _ Si vous êtes sûr… _ ”

“Of course I’m sure.” Mulligan smiled, making Lafayette smile, so they were both smiling when they pulled open the door and saw John snap his phone shut with a groan.

“Did she take it well,  _ mon ami _ ?” Lafayette asked nervously.

“She thinks i t’s  _ hóyééʼ _ , but also not my fault, so I’m okay.”

“How in the hell did I end up with the two friends that don’t speak English as their first language?” Mulligan moaned playfully, making Laurens duck his head.

“She thinks it’s terrible. But she’s not mad at me. She doesn’t how  _ ataaʼ _ will feel, though.”

“Remind me which language that is, John?” a voice called from the kitchen. Lafayette smiled and set his bag down, using his long legs to reach his host mother first.

“ _ Maman _ !”

“Hello,  _ mon petit garçon _ .”

“Navajo, ma’am. I taught it to myself in South Carolina.”

“It’s very impressive that you still use it as well as you do.” Lafayette finally unlatched himself from Martha Washington in lieu of grabbing food from the kitchen.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“ _ Mama, John et Mulligan vont rester et regarder Chicago ce soir. John a eu une mauvaise journée. _ ”

“Not all night,” John called, fiddling with the strap on his bag. “My _ amá _ wants me back before dinner. She said I could watch the movie once.”

Lafayette frowned but put back some of the food he’d grabbed. “ _ ‘ercule _ ?”

“Huh?” Mulligan had already made his way to the living room after kissing Lafayette’s mother on the cheek in a quick greeting.

“Would you like to spend the night tonight? We could call John  _ au téléphone _ .”

“I...ah...can’t. Big project tomorrow?” Mulligan stuttered, dropping the tv remote in his slight shock.

“For econ, right?” John supplied helpfully, even though he knew very well that Mulligan had never taken and would never take economics. But though Lafayette was observant, that was one detail he managed to miss.

“Yup! Econ, big project due tomorrow. Movie first.”

" _ Très bien. Juste toi et moi ce soir, maman. _ "

" _ Ne pas oublier de faire vos devoirs, ma chérie. _ "

" _ Bien sûr, maman. _ "

Laurens finally set his bag down on the table with a loud thump, startling Mulligan out of his stupor.

“One day, you have to tell him, Herc.”

“That day is not today.”

“ _ Toutefois _ , today is the day for musicals, no?” Lafayette announced, bringing a big bowl of chocolate chips in and placing it carefully into Laurens’ arms. “Put the movie on,  _ connard _ . I’ll grab drinks.”

Laurens and Mulligan shared a glance, trying to figure out what the new word meant.

“Sounded a little like a loving term?”

“ _ Connard _ ...not really. Like...connotation?”

“ _ Connard _ as in something I never want to hear you say under this roof again,  _ mon fils _ !” Martha called from the dining room. Mulligan snickered and Laurens nearly shot chocolate out of his nose with his snorting until Lafayette returned and glared at them.

“ _ Tais-toi _ ,” he muttered, handing them their drinks with a glare. “ _ Désolé, maman! _ ”

“I guess it didn’t mean connotation,” Laurens mumbled, making Mulligan laugh again.

“Guess not.”

~

John went home that night alone and on edge, but there was no explosion. His father didn’t come home. His mother gave him a worried hug when he came inside, but that was the most that was brought up about the matter. His sister Mary Eleanor was too young to realize anything was wrong, because to her daddy coming home wasn’t a big deal. It had happened all her life. Laurens wished he could still be that young and naive, but even to wish that was too much. He didn’t eat much at dinner, just pushed his mashed potatoes around his plate and stared out the window, wishing he would see Charleston instead of Boston again; but Charleston was nearly a thousand miles away, and he’d been here long enough to know if he started seeing trees out his window he was losing his mind.

He went to bed that night feeling like something was changing, slowly but surely. And for whatever reason, as he drifted to sleep, dark brown eyes flitted in front of him and haunted his dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am trash for this story and y'all are really fucking sweet so take another chapter ilygsm

Lafayette was bouncing the entire first half of the day. Mulligan kept giving the French boy funny looks, but that was all Laurens noticed. He didn’t catch Mulligan’s worry-filled glances directed at him, or Lafayette’s softer tone around him.

It was nearly 12 when Lafayette checked himself out, promising to bring back an “ _ ami nouvelle marque _ ” (brand new friend) when he returned.

“I hope the new kid doesn’t mind Laf’s talking all the time,” Mulligan mumbled as they sat down in English, their first class after lunch.

“Watch him talk even more now,” Laurens laughed. Mulligan smiled and the bell rang shrilly, making Laurens wince. “Yikes. They really need to fix that bell.”

“Hell yeah they do.”

Mr. Adams was sort of a stick-up-the-ass teacher who vehemently insisted on calling roll every day, without talking, so it wasn’t a surprise that he spit out a loud “Be quiet!” towards Mulligan and Laurens with his beady little eyes and crusty mouth. The boys just nodded and expected the rest of the class to go on as usual. Mulligan was usually the one who spoke up when Lafayette was gone, but surprise number one was that Lafayette made it back in time for his own name.

And surprise number two was the new name added to the list that sounded beautiful even coming from the crusty mouth of Mr. Adams.

“Hamilton, Alexander. Is there a Hamilton, Alexander here?”

“He’s just transferring in today,” Mulligan said quickly, raising his hand so he wouldn’t get in trouble. “Lafayette should be bringing him in any minute now.”

“A new transfer? Well, this should be interesting then. Where is he?”

“I’m not sure, sir.”   
“Really? Well, Mr. Mulligan, since you were so quick to speak up, I figured you had all the answers.” Mulligan shrunk a little as Mr. Adams started stalking towards him. “Are you sure this Hamilton, Alexander fellow isn’t just a friend of yours who is skipping class?”

“Sir, he’s never been in this class or on your roll before, I can promise you that. I’ve never met him. I just know he’s coming to stay with Lafayette’s family. Sir.”

Just then the door swung open and Lafayette poked his head in with a bright French smile. “ _ Bonjour _ ,  _ monsieur _ , I’m sorry I’m late, but I ‘ave a new student of yours?  _ Il s'appelle _ Alexander ‘amilton.” Mr. Adams and the rest of the class turned to stare as the new kid walked in, chest puffed and jaw clenched. He was dressed in the most beautiful of ragged clothes, a holey army jacket and torn jeans, flip flops and a white-turned-gray t-shirt. His messenger bag was water-stained and bulging with papers sticking out of every opening. A bun sat atop his head, messy but still neat in a way.

Laurens’ heart skipped a beat.

“I see he has not met the dress code yet,” Mr. Adams said coldly, looking Alexander Hamilton (god, that name was so pretty all together) up and down.

“With all due respect, he just got here,” Laurens found himself saying, standing up and making eye contact with Alexander. “I’m sure you can give him a little slack on the first day,  _ sir _ .” Alexander seemed surprised but pleased, eyes softening the slightest amount at his defense. Mulligan also stood up, but it was to nod at Lafayette and pull Laurens back into his seat.

“Well well well, someone’s causing quite the ruckus today,” Mr. Adams mused, staring at Laurens with an unperturbed smile. “You’ve almost turned into your father, John.” After a pregnant pause in which Laurens attempted to process the insult that was just thrown his way, Mr. Adams turned back to Alexander. “Mister...Hamilton, is it? Take a seat over there, next to Mr. Lafayette. Jackson, Rachel.”

Rachel shyly raised her hand as Alexander took a seat next to Lafayette. Laurens kept staring off into space.

_ You’ve almost turned into your father, John. _

_ Casi te has convertido en su padre, John. _

_ You’ve almost turned into your ataaʼ, John, my awééʼ, please be careful with what you say from now on. _

“Mr. Laurens, whenever you’d like to join us we’ll gladly continue with class.”

“ _ Lo siento, señor, _ ” Laurens mumbled, sitting back into his seat and grabbing his notebook.

“In English, please,” Mr. Adams spat.

“ _ Shidoo yáʼátʼééh da _ ,” Laurens said quickly, then shook his head. “ _ Me refiero _ -”

“Sir, it’s not his fault if he speaks multiple languages,” a new voice piped up, saving Laurens from more embarrassment. “Actually, you should be praising him for that. Do you know how hard it is to learn more than one language, much less survive in an environment with limited exposure to certain languages? If I’m not mistaken, he just spoke three languages within the span of a few sentences-”

“Mr. Hamilton, I’m going to have to ask you to sit down and shut up, as you are not allowed to speak out of turn in this class!”

Laurens finally found his words and interjected quickly. “I’m sorry, sir, it won’t happen again. From either of us. Please continue.” And he sent a pleading look over to Alexander, who was staring at him with a strange mix of betrayal and pride on his face as he sat back down. Mulligan put his hand on Laurens’ thigh under the desk, but it grounded him instead of sending shivers down his spine like it usually did. Mulligan scared him sometimes, because he was bigger and stronger than even Laurens’ father, but when you were on Mulligan’s good side you’d be safe no matter the situation, so long as you weren’t the thing that made him mad. Laurens had never made Mulligan truly mad; the only person who had ever managed to do that was over three thousand miles away.

But that was beside the point. Mulligan was helping him calm down and kept his mind off of the boy on the other side of the room.

~

“ _ Coño _ , I hate that man,” Laurens mumbled as soon as he was down the hall from the room. Lafayette and Alexander caught up with him quickly, but Mulligan had to dart to his next class because he needed to talk to the teacher or something.

“That was not okay of ‘im,” Lafayette agreed, glancing back and forth between the other two. “‘Owever, I believe you two ‘ave not been properly introduced. This is Alexander ‘amilton.”

“So I gathered,” Laurens said, glancing Alexander up and down. “Nice to meet you officially, Alexander.”

“Please don't call me Alexander, that's what my uncle used to call me and he made it a point to never call me anything else. I really prefer Alex or Hamilton, or maybe Ham if you're feeling creative, just--anything but Alexander, if that's doable,” Alexander--Alex--said quickly, fidgeting with his bag strap before taking a breath and sticking his hand out to shake. “Thank you for standing up for me in there, because now as far as I'm concerned we’re friends and friends mean you stick up for each other. I understand if you'd rather not be friends, but that was why I stood up for you. And that comment about you being like your father was extremely out of line, I assume, so if you need someone to make a point about this teacher I don't mind doing it, because I do think the administration would be interested in what kind of teaching he's been doing and how he makes personal comments at his students that are unfair and unprofessional-”

“ _ Ham _ ,” Laurens said finally, blinking and taking Alex’s hand to shake it. “Hi. Thank you, but, uh, no thanks. At least not over that.”

“Oh. I mean, that's fine, because he doesn't seem to hate anyone else in there, but if it continues I will gladly-”

“Thanks.”

Laurens shared a quick glance with Lafayette before smiling back at Alex.

“I'm John Laurens, by the way. My friends call me Laurens.”

“Does anyone call you John?”

“Not really. Nobody's ever asked, I guess.”

“Then may I call you John? I think it's a lovely name.”

He didn't seem embarrassed by what he said, so Laurens assumed he didn't mean it to be as flirty as it sounded and fought down his blush.

“Yeah, of course.”

The bell rang then, and Laurens glared at the wall above the lockers.

“Alex ‘as the next class with you, I believe, would you mind showing him to it?” Lafayette said quickly, already backing away.

“Sure!” Laurens nodded, watching Lafayette for a moment before turning back to Alex. “Right. So you’ve got French 3 as well?”

“ _ Oui, je l'apprécie vraiment parler français. Il était la langue maternelle dans le Caribbean. _ ”

Laurens swallowed harshly. “ _ Sí, hola, hablo español con fluidez, no francés. Estoy solo en su causa Lafayette me está sobornando con baguettes. _ ”

Alex blinked a few times. “What?” he asked finally.

“That’s what you sound like to me, basically,” Laurens laughed, lamely hitting Alex on the shoulder. “C’mon.  _ Madame Gentil _ isn’t that forgiving with tardies.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome i love john laurens

Apparently, Laurens found out, Alex was in  _ all _ of his classes. He wasn't sure what kind of karma he had that made him deserve this, but it wasn't entirely unwelcome. Only sometimes.

“So you also walk home with Lafayette? He told me a lot about you, and I really admire that you play sports. I've never been very athletic myself, but I do enjoy cheering on the people who play. I-”

“I don't play.”

Alex’s mouth twitched into a frown, using his longer legs to keep up with Laurens, who was blasting ahead in the hall with his eyes pointed down.

“But Lafayette said that you-”

“I know what he probably said, but I'm not on the soccer team anymore.”

“Why not?”

“It wasn't my choice, okay, now please-”

“Lafayette kept telling me how good you were and that you were the best player on the team. And that you deserved to be captain. Which I totally agree with, because I can tell that you're best at getting through people and kicking the ball around.”

“Please stop.” Laurens kept shrinking, looking forward with increasing frequency and picking up his pace. Alex was nearly running to keep up now.

“I understand if you don't want to take the compliment, but understand that I'm entirely unbiased-”

“John Laurens.”

Laurens froze, squeezing his eyes shut as Alex nearly ran into him.

“Hi, Aaron.”

Aaron Burr stepped forward carefully, smiling amiably at Laurens and Alex. “I heard about the soccer situation.”

“I bet you did. Just--you got what you wanted, okay? Please don't gloat or whatever. I'd really just like to get home.” Laurens was still shrinking, eyes down, shoulders shaking.

“What did your father have to say about it?”

“Why does everyone continue to bring up your father, John? It's like everyone here has it out for you.”

“They do,” Laurens mumbled. “My dad didn't say anything. I'll...I'll see you tomorrow, Aaron.”

“Please. Call me Burr, now. But you can call me Aaron Burr.” He extended his hand towards Alex, who nervously shook it.

“Um--Alex. Alexander.”

It was just Laurens’s luck that the one guy he'd started to consider his new closest friend would also become friends with  _ Aaron Burr _ .  _ Exactly _ his luck.

“Welcome to our hallowed halls, Alexander. I... _ do _ hope I'll be seeing you around.”

Laurens kept his eyes down as Burr slithered away. Alex stood frozen for a few seconds before he stepped in front of Laurens.

“And now every time he calls me Alexander I'll remember that I'm supposed to hate him,” he laughed, hoping he would get to see Laurens smile again.

But Laurens didn't smile. And he didn't smile when Mulligan told them about something James Madison had done. And he didn't smile when Lafayette offered to play  _ Hairspray _ , and especially not when he politely declined.

“ _ Mon ami _ ? Are you feeling  _ malade _ ?”

“I'm fine, Laf, I just...it’s been a bad day.” He blinked blearily, pulling at a curl that had fallen out of his ponytail. “It was...have a nice day, okay, Ham? Welcome to Boston. I'll call you later, Herc.”

Mulligan frowned, moving to walk with Laurens, but the smaller boy started moving before he could even propose it.

“ _ Hercules, je suis inquiet pour lui. Je sais que vous avez dit que je ne devrais pas être, mais je suis! _ ”

“Laf, I know, just--I think this soccer thing is really taking a toll on him.”

“Maybe this thing with his father that everyone keeps referencing is also part of it,” Alex said loudly. A few feet away, Laurens froze. “Everyone keeps bringing it up, and I don't know if it's because his father is really that bad or if everyone just assumes-”

“How about you shut the fuck  _ up _ ?” Mulligan spat out, taking a threatening step towards Alex. “You don't know  _ anything _ about John’s dad, and it's none of your business anyway.”

“ _ Je sais que vous voulez bien faire, Alex, mais je crains que cette situation est un peu différente de celle que vous pourriez attendre. Et je ne laisserai jamais notre cher John savoir ce que vous pensez, _ ” Lafayette said quietly, looking towards Laurens with a worried glance.

Laurens just sighed and turned back to the group. “My dad will probably be home tonight, so you're half right, Ham. But we also ran into Aaron Burr and I didn't sleep well last night and I'd really rather just go home. Fair enough?”

“I didn't mean to offend you,” Alex said immediately, frowning. “I just-”

“I know. We’re friends, and friends defend each other. Thank you. But can I please go now without worrying that my friends are going to continue talking about my fucked up life, especially those who know what’s going on?”

Mulligan was frowning, more at Laurens than anything or anyone else, so he definitely didn’t miss the glare thrown his way. There was an awkward, tense pause before Lafayette muttered a quiet “ _Je t'aime_ _et_ I’ll see you tomorrow, John.” and dragged Alex away. Laurens began stalking away, leaving Mulligan alone on the sidewalk.

~

**To: mon petit lion**

21:11 bonjour

**From: mon petit lion**

21:14 hi, laf

21:14 is this gonna be a lecture cause if so id rather not today

**To: mon petit lion**

21:15 not at all

21:17 i am wondering if alexander may have your tele nombre

**From: mon petit lion**

21:18 just to text?

21:19 i think if he tried to call me wed never get off the phone

**To: mon petit lion**

21:19 you two got along that well? that is excellent!

**From: mon petit lion**

21:20 itd be mostly him talking, laf

21:20 he kind of doesnt stop talking

21:20 its a lil endearing i suppose but i also need sleep at some point

21:22 if hell only text me then i think we can make it work

**To: mon petit lion**

21:23 dually noted, mon ami

21:30 he says he is too nervous to text you

**From: mon petit lion**

21:32 should i text him first, then

**To: mon petit lion**

21:33 i am making the decision

21:34 he says he will do it eventually but i do not believe so

21:34 [hamilton.contact]

**From: mon petit lion**

21:36 okay

~

**To: ham**

21:40 hi, is this ham?

**From: ham**

21:40 Yes! I didn’t actually think you would text me first.

21:40 And no matter what Lafayette says, I did plan to text you eventually.

**To: ham**

21:41 surprise

21:41 it me

21:41 bet u thought youd seen the last of me

21:41 but it is i, john laurens

**From: ham**

21:43 :)

21:44 You’re pretty funny, John Laurens.

21:45 I really do think you’re one of the best people I’ve met in Boston. You actually seem to

care about how people are feeling. I really respect that.

21:46 I just realized I used ‘really’ twice in one text to say ‘I really _verb_’ and that’s not

something I usually do, so I apologize.

**To: ham**

21:46 youre apologizing for using a word twice?

21:46 i do that kind of stuff all the time

21:46 you dont have to apologize for that

**From: ham**

21:47 Sorry.

21:47 I’m not good at texting people, surprisingly enough.

**To: ham**

21:47 fancy that

21:47 although I can kind of guess why. its weirder to see your own words written back and

have the ability to second guess yourself. when you speak its just kind of...out there,

yknow

**From: ham**

21:48 Exactly my thoughts! I keep wondering if I sound dorky enough that you’re going to laugh

at me.

**To: ham**

21:48 i dont laugh at my friends

21:48 unless youre intentionally trying to make me laugh

21:48 in which case i tell you to fuck off while laughing

22:07 sorry

**From: ham**

22:15 Why are you apologizing? That was sort of my fault. I allowed Lafayette to start giving

me a house tour.

22:15 So I am, in fact, the one who is sorry.

**To: ham**

22:15 im gonna fight laf brb

**From: ham**

22:16 Alright.

**To: ham**

22:16 youre not even gonna try to defend him?

**From: ham**

22:16 I think we can both agree it’s his fault, so no.

22:17 :)

**To: ham**

22:18 you are too pure for this world, alexander hamilton

22:18 im gonna defend your honor until the end of time.

~

**To: mon petit lion**

22:20 what did you say that made alexander start smiling?

**From: mon petit lion**

22:22 :)

22:23 btw we have to fight

**To: mon petit lion**

22:24 WhY

~

**To: mon hero**

22:30 please tell john not to fight me

22:31 it would be much appreciated

**From: mon hero**

22:32 wtf did u do

22:32 JL dsnt fight w/o reason

**To: mon hero**

22:32 he will not tell me

22:32 he is being...how you say…

22:32 difficult

22:33 and an asshole

**From: mon hero**

22:34 a connard?

**To: mon hero**

22:34 ...did I teach you that

**From: mon hero**

22:35 all u did was say it, &i googled th rest

**To: mon hero**

22:35 oh...how you say

22:35 fuck

**From: mon hero**

22:36 quit saying how u say b4 words u obv know how 2 say

**To: mon hero**

22:36 how you say…

22:36 shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodbye take these adorable little shitheads with u
> 
> burr can suck my ass


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love my actual children and text formatting

“John Laurens!”

“Hi, Ham,” Laurens yawned, rubbing at his eyes and waving at Alex and Lafayette. “Morning, Laf. Or, ‘ow you say... _belle matinée_.”

Lafayette glared at Laurens, making Alex’s snicker come up short. “Just because I say ‘’ow you say’ before I speak does not mean you are allowed to...eh…”

“What word?” Alex asked quickly, eyes lighting up.

“A phrase? _Se moquer de moi_.”

“Ah. Make fun of.” Alex turned towards Laurens with a smile. “Quit teasing him, Mr. I-speak-three-languages.”

Laurens blushed and for a moment Alex thought he’d offended him, but then Laurens was laughing and he relaxed.

“Herc asked me to do it, but I’m sorry, bro.”

Lafayette pouted for a moment before pulling a reluctant Laurens into a squishy hug. “Oh, I forgive you, _mon petit lion, je vous adore, vous êtes juste le plus mignon petite chose, mon petit lion, regarde vous-_ ”

“Hey, cut that out!”

“ _Vous êtes si doux quand vous luttez contre mon amour. Tu sais que tu me aimes, John Laurens! Et je t'aime de tout mon cœur, surtout quand vos cheveux commence à devenir tout crépus comme il le fait dans la pluie-_ ”

Mulligan started laughing loudly as he walked up, glancing at the scene with a mix of confusion and amusement on his face. Laurens, however, was blushing hard and struggling to pull away with more intensity than before.  
“I said cut it out, Laf, seriously-- _stop_!”

He pushed Lafayette away, rubbing the side of his head with a wince and embarrassed tears hovering at the corners of his eyes.

“ _Por el bien folla, gilipollas, cuando la gente dice parada se supone que tienes que parar!_ Ow, jesus fuck-”

“John, are you alright? I have some aspirin and bandages if you need something-” Alex said after a moment, already reaching for his bag, but Laurens cut him off.

“No, I’m fine. Let’s just--we’re gonna be late.”

Laurens started walking away quickly, making sure he was a good ten feet away before he started scrubbing at his eyes. Lafayette and Mulligan shared a glance, but didn’t say anything this time. Alex, however, only hesitated a moment before he was running after Laurens.

“John-”

“Please don’t, Alex.”

“I just wanted to say--I really like that shirt,” Alex mumbled, glancing at Laurens from the side of his eye.

“Stole it from Lafayette, actually,” Laurens said after a moment, slowing his pace.

“ _Bien sûr que vous avez fait_ ,” Alex muttered fondly, shaking his head. “Does he lend people his clothes often?”

“You have no idea. Half of his closet is at my house, half of it is at Herc’s, and I think his current physical closet is mostly Herc’s stuff.”

“So what’s your closet, then? Or where, I guess I should ask?”

“My stuff stays with me. But I’ve also stolen some of Herc’s workout stuff.”

Alex stopped looking at Laurens until they got to school so the other boy could get some privacy before they entered hell. Laurens seemed grateful and was back to his normal cheery self by the time they got to their first class. Maybe Alex was actually helping.

Or, whispered a tiny voice at the back of his mind, maybe John was just a really good actor. He'd seen it before.

~

**To: l'énigme**

9:33 Hello, John.

**From: l'énigme**

9:35 hi ham

**To: l'énigme**

9:35 Are you feeling any better after this morning?

9:40 Was that out of line? I’m sorry. I can pretend I didn’t ask.

**From: l'énigme**

9:42 nah, youre all good. this teacher is just an ahole

9:42 and yeah, i am, thankyou for asking

9:43 im actually really glad somebody asked cause laf&herc didnt so i thought id pissed yall  
off

**To: l'énigme**

9:43 Absolutely not. Or at least, you didn’t piss me off. I just want you to feel better.

**From: l'énigme**

9:44 ive known you for two days

**To: l'énigme**

9:46 ...right. Sorry.

9:47 I entirely understand if you want to delete my number or something.

**From: l'énigme**

9:47 of course not!!!

9:47 my point was that my two ‘best’ friends hadnt checked up on me even though weve been  
friends for a bajillion years

9:48 ive known you two days and you already care more. and that says a lot, in my eyes. so  
thank you.

**To: l'énigme**

9:50 Okay, awesome. :)

**From: l'énigme**

9:51 :)

~

**To: baguette**

10:00 Does John Laurens usually use emojis or emoticons?

**From: baguette**

10:01 never

10:01 why

**To: baguette**

10:03 No reason.

~

**To: mon hero**

10:05 i think john is

10:06 how you say

10:06 flirting with my new cousin

**From: mon hero**

10:10 i think u r

10:10 how u say

10:11 a french fraud

10:11 also wtf

~

“So, Alexander, how are you liking Caldwell?” Aaron asked sweetly, quickly inserting himself between Laurens and Alex on their way to lunch. Alex turned to Aaron with a response already on his tongue until he caught sight of Laurens’s crestfallen face.

“I--uh…I like it a lot so far?” Laurens looked away and Alex quickly tried to make amends. “John has really been-”

“I heard that you mouthed off to Mr. Adams yesterday.”

“Yes, I did, because he-”

“I'm going to give you a free piece of advice, Alexander.” Aaron put his hand on Alex’s shoulder to stop him and turned his back to Laurens, making it very clear Laurens was nothing to him.

Alex watched Laurens walk away quickly for a moment before turning back to Aaron. “What advice would that be?”

“Alexander, do you want to succeed in this school?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then shut up.”

Alex’s tentative smile dropped. “What?”

Aaron was still smiling kindly. “I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm just saying that people in this school do better when they don't talk as much. My motto is to talk less and smile more. You'll get more friends that way.”

Alex clenched his jaw. “With all due respect, _Burr_ , I would rather have friends who agree with me than friends who only think I look nice.”

“I want to look out for you, Alexander.” Aaron raised an eyebrow and Alex pushed his hand off his shoulder.

“I can look out for myself, thank you. And another thing, I don't appreciate the way you were treating my friend John. It was rude and nearly as bad as Mr. Adams-”

“Let me warn you about John Laurens.” All pretense of a smile dropped from Aaron’s face. “He isn't who you think he is.”

“Oh? Then who is he?”

A dark shadow crossed over Aaron’s face. “You'll learn in time if you insist on being involved with him.”

“You aren't proving your point. I'm not sure why I should trust you.”

“Because-”

“Yo, Alex! Quit talking to _Burr_ and come on,” a voice called suddenly. Alex turned to Mulligan and smiled.

“Coming, Mulligan.”

When he turned back to Aaron, the smile was back in place. “Have a nice day, Alexander. And keep my advice in mind.”

Alex walked quickly to Mulligan, refusing to look back. “What'd he want?”

“To insult my friends and I,” Alex muttered. “Come on.”

When they got to the lunchroom, Lafayette was waving them over almost immediately. Mulligan bounded over like a giant puppy to sit next to him. There was only one spot left at the table, and it was next to Laurens. As Alex approached, Laurens pulled a bag from the empty seat and glanced at Alex with unreadable eyes.

“Sorry, were you saving that seat for someone, John?”

“Yeah,” Laurens said, but it came out as more of a ‘duh’. Alex shrunk a little.

“...oh.”

Laurens looked up when he heard Alex’s sad reply. “I meant for you. Who else would I want sitting next to me?”

“No one,” Lafayette answered quickly. “ _Notre cher John_ _est très enchanté_.”

“Hey Laf, have you ever heard of this fun little game called shut the fuck up and stay out of people's business? You should try it.”

Alex just laughed a little, still standing. John patted the seat next to him.

“C’mon, Ham. Plenty of room.”

Across the lunchroom, Alex caught Aaron’s eye as he sat down. Aaron shook his head slowly and turned away.

Alex just scooted closer to Laurens, who might’ve blushed if he wasn’t still a little sore about earlier.

~

**To: l'énigme**

13:20 Hi, John.

13:21 It’s Alex.

**From: l'énigme**

13:21 i know. i have your number

13:22 are you alright?

13:22 i can tell you arent bleeding but like

**To: l'énigme**

13:22 Yes, I’m alright. I’m just bored.

**From:** **l'énigme**

13:22 i can see that

13:23 why are you on the other side of the room

**To: l'énigme**

13:23 James Madison seemed lonely.

13:23 Did you know he keeps three journals for himself? All for his own personal writing.

13:23 I aspire to write that much one day.

**From:** **l'énigme**

13:23 i cant say i did

13:24 is that an empty seat across from you

**To: l'énigme**

13:25 James said that’s where Thomas (?) sits, but you can come if you’d like.

**From: l'énigme**

13:25 damn, youre right

13:25 never mind, just sit next to me next class. i don’t wanna take toms seat

**To: l'énigme**

13:25 :/

**From: l'énigme**

13:26 dont do that

**To: l'énigme**

13:26 :((((((

**From: l'énigme**

13:26 well sit together next time

13:27 stop pouting in real life

13:27 gdi ham stop that

13:28 STOP

13:28 james is looking at you funny

13:28 sssstttttooooooopppppppp

**To: l'énigme**

13:30 Look back at me!

13:30 John?

13:30 John

13:30 John

13:30 John

13:31 John

13:31 John

13:31 John

13:31 John

13:31 John

13:31 John

**From: l'énigme**

13:31 shhhhhhhhhhhh

13:32 next class alex

13:32 and if you wanna invite james over to my table next time so we don’t disturb tom’s chi  
then i wouldnt mind

**To: l'énigme**

13:33 James said he would like that.

**From: l'énigme**

13:33 awesome !!!!! friendship

13:34 that sounded sarcastic and i didnt mean for it to

**To: l'énigme**

13:35 Don’t worry, we understood.

13:36 Now who is this Thomas person? James has his name written all over notebook #2.

**From: l'énigme**

13:39 okay so thomas jefferson is this guy whos super smart and sometimes comes across  
very pretentious and he only half is. he just acts like hes great cause his dads an  
ambassador to france or something. tom and james are best friends tho and (pls dont tell anyone  
this cause it cant be backed up by any tangible proof) a lot of people think theyve got a kind of fling  
going on. but i dont believe it, i think guys can have mutual pining too.

**To: l'énigme**

13:39 Wow.

13:39 That makes a lot more sense now.

13:40 Are you and James close friends?

**From: l'énigme**

13:40 since tom left weve become closer to being friends. when toms around they hang out  
with burr a lot

**To: l'énigme**

13:41 Oh, gross.

13:41 By the way, I’m going to give Burr a piece of my mind if he keeps treating you like he  
does.

**From: l'énigme**

13:42 thanks, ham

13:43 sit next to me next block

**To: l'énigme**

13:50 ...oops.

**From: l'énigme**

13:50 >:(

**To: l'énigme**

13:50 I’ll ditch Lafayette next block and make Mulligan switch seats with me.

**From: l'énigme**

13:53 adams wont go for that

13:53 just stop sitting on the literal opposite side of the room from me when possible

~

**To: Hercules Mulligan**

14:30 Please switch seats with me next class.

**From: Hercules Mulligan**

14:30 no

~

**To: Lafayette**

14:30 Please tell Mulligan to switch seats with me next class.

**From: Lafayette**

14:33 he says he will not

14:33 he also told me to tell you to fuck off but i enjoy your company at dinner so do not fuck  
off

14:34 he is mad at me now

14:34 he will not switch seats with you

**To: Lafayette**

14:35 Remind him that I sit next to you.

**From: Lafayette**

14:36 he said you can switch seats with him

14:36 i do not understand what happened ?

**To: Lafayette**

14:37 Thank you, Lafayette!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> burr can still suck my ass thanks love y'all :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna marry the schuylers

“Yes, I  _ have _ to talk to her.” John glared at the ground as he made his way towards the soccer field after school. “I don't want to, but I need my shit back.”

“Why would you lend her anything?” Mulligan asked, nearly running to catch up with his friend. Lafayette and Alex had been on their way home until they saw Mulligan take a detour, so all four of them were apparently headed to the field together.  _ Great. _

“What did you lend and who did you lend it to?” Alex asked, taking only a few strides to match Laurens’s.

“Workout clothes. She said she’d give them back at the end of this season, but…” Laurens shook his head after a moment. “Y’know. So she said I could pick them up today.  _ Alone _ .”

“I’m sure she did not specify that you ‘ad to be  _ alone _ ,” Lafayette piped up. Laurens glared back at him until the Frenchman caught the point:  _ shut the fuck up and leave me alone.  _ Alex, however, did not get this message at all, nor did Mulligan, and because Lafayette didn’t want to leave without his best friends and cousin, the four of them continued to traipse across the lawn.

“Who is this elusive ‘she’?” Alex asked again. “An ex girlfriend of sorts? I doubt she’s your sister, because your sister could just give it to you at home. A cousin of yours perhaps? Older or younger?”

“Not related to her, not my ex. Just a friend.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Alex grinned, missing the look that Mulligan and Lafayette shot each other. He didn’t miss the look Laurens gave him, though: one of confusion but slight giddiness.

They weren’t too far from the field at this point and the three boys slowed down as they reached the fence. Laurens, however, sped up and quickly threw himself over the fence towards where a few people were practicing in the middle of the field.

“Uh, Laurens? How are we supposed to-”

“Stay! I’ll be back in a minute!”

The center of the field was far enough away from the fence that (thank god) none of his friends would be able to hear his conversation with these people unless they started screaming.

“John! Hey!”

Laurens smiled quickly at Peggy, who was sitting on the ground retying his shoelaces.

“Hey, Pegleg. Seen your sister? She said she’d have my workout shit.”

“Just went to grab it, actually.” Peggy stood up, using Laurens’s outstretched hand for leverage. “Says she felt bad about everything--so do I, for the record. Who was it?”

“Burr,” Laurens said sullenly. “At least, I assume so. Angie wouldn’t ever-”

“That’s what she’d said, yeah. Okay. So if the ball goes flying at someone’s face-” Peggy winked and Laurens laughed. “Can’t blame me if it’s at him. Just karma.”

“Speaking of, I need to clear out before he shows up.”

“Good idea. And I’m not a good brother if I don’t get Angie to distract him until you’re safe.” Peggy smiled and Laurens clapped a hand on his shoulder gratefully. “I’ll be back, and I’ll send Eliza your way if I see her.”

“Thanks, Peg!”

Peggy ran off towards the locker rooms and Laurens sighed for a moment before noticing a nearby soccer ball. He only paused for a moment to look around before he was dribbling it down the field. Charles Lee and Rachel Jackson, who were flirting by the goal, immediately noticed Laurens coming towards them, and Rachel stepped in front of the goal.

“Bring it on, Jaws!”

Lee ran out to play defense and Laurens grinned, getting another rush of adrenaline.

“You’re on, Rachet!”

“Yo, Leaf, he’s-”

“Yeah, I see it!”

Laurens was ducking around Lee quickly passing the ball out to himself but not close enough to the goal that Rachel could intercede. He faked right and she lunged, then he aimed at the left corner. It hit the goal with a satisfying  _ smack  _ and almost immediately Rachel was laughing and Lee had grabbed him around the waist.

“That’s called cheating, Jaws!”

“That’s called not having my talent,” Laurens teased back, wriggling out of Lee’s grip and giggling loudly. “Get with the program please. Oh, wait!”

He heard distant clapping and immediately he perked up, assuming (and hoping) it was Lafayette or Mulligan or Alex, but when he turned his blood ran cold.

“Still trying to play, I see,” Burr said gently, clapping a few more times before strolling towards Laurens with a snake-like grin. “You  _ do _ remember that you aren’t on the team anymore, right?”

“Yeah, I…” Laurens’s voice faltered. “Eliza was supposed to give me back my workout stuff, and I saw the ball, and I got a little carried away.”

“He’s still better than you,” Rachel said loudly, running up next to her ex-teammate. “You may be assistant captain, but-”

“I’m co-captain, thank you,” Burr muttered quickly, voice squeaking even though he maintained his cool stance.

“We didn’t vote for you. You’re assistant captain at best. Everyone prefers when Angie is in charge,” Lee spoke up. He wouldn’t stand up for Laurens, because that wasn’t his image, but he’d fight for just about everything else.

“I don’t remember asking you who you preferred,” Burr said coldly. “But I am in charge here, and-”

“Yo, Fuz, back off. Jaws is here for his shit from Eliza, and you aren’t ‘in charge’, we both are. We  _ share _ that,” Angelica Schuyler’s voice called across the field, making Laurens relax. She strutted over to the group, by appearance her two sisters flanking her. For those who knew the Schuylers, however, they knew Peggy (the youngest) was transgender but preferred to look like a girl until high school was over, “because people are dicks,” he’d once told Laurens. Eliza and Peggy were closer in age, as Peggy was a freshman and Eliza a sophomore. Angelica, however, was a senior and exuded the confidence any older sister needed to protect her baby sister and brother. The rest of the Schuyler boys were either off at college already or still in grade school.

“Hi, Angie. Sorry about this.”

“Don’t be. Eliza told me you’d be stopping by.” Though they were definitely friends, Angelica still scared Laurens, so he flinched a little when she stopped right next to him. “Burr, be mature, please. And Jaws…”

“Closed practice, I know.” Laurens smiled sadly. “I’ll get my shit and go.”

“Here,” Eliza said softly, voice floating like a melody. “Thank you, John.” The clothes were folded gently and smelled like roses.

“Of course. Y’all go destroy Northside tomorrow.”

“We will.” Angelica smiled, but it was tight. She didn’t want to see him go, Laurens hoped. But rules were rules and Burr had won this round.

The boys at the fence were in various states of boredom, ranging from nearly asleep like Lafayette, completely zoned out like Mulligan, and watching with rapt attention as Laurens approached (which was a form of anti-boredom) like Alex. Laurens just shrugged and shoved his clothes back in his bag. “Shall we go home?”

“What was that girl’s name?”

“Which one? Cause Angelica is the terrifying captain.” Laurens vaulted himself over the fence. “And Peggy...well, Peggy’s not a girl.”

“No, the other one. The really beautiful one.” It was then that Laurens realized Alex wasn’t staring at him but instead past his shoulder and onto the field.

“That’s Elizabeth Schuyler,” Mulligan said, pulling a still sleepy Lafayette to his feet. “She’s like, an actual goddess. And everyone knows it.”

“ _ Burr a essayé de dormir avec les Schuyler pendant des mois, mais aucun d'entre eux veulent rien à voir avec lui, _ ” Lafayette yawned, leaning on Mulligan heavily.

Alex frowned, still standing at the fence even though the other three had already begun to move towards the street.

“Ham, come on.”

“ _ Lafayette, dis-moi plus sur Elizabeth. _ ”

“ _ À la maison, Alexander. Même si elle préfère être appelée Eliza. _ ”

“Alexander,” Laurens said sharply. Alex jolted before turning back to Laurens, looking a little hurt. “Are you coming or what?”

“I…” He turned back to the field for a moment and Laurens sighed loudly, immediately walking away. As soon as Alex realized, he bolted after Laurens. “John, wait!”

But Laurens didn’t stop. He kept walking, didn’t even look back at Alex, or Mulligan, or Lafayette. And he kept walking until he got home and locked the front door behind him, as the other three had stopped at the corner to discuss after-school plans again. He stood in the foyer for a solid three minutes blinking back embarrassing tears; then his phone buzzed in his pocket and he shook himself out of it.

It was a text from Alex. He turned his phone on do-not-disturb and went to go say hello to his little sister.

“Johnie!” Mary Eleanor grinned, jumping up from the couch to greet her brother. Laurens laughed and picked her up, kissing her gently on the head.

“Hi, Mel. How was school today?”

“I learned how to spell, Johnie! Teach me how to spell your name!”

“Jay, oh, ach, en.”

“Write it down, Johnie!”

“Good afternoon, John, welcome home.” At his mother’s voice, Laurens put his little sister down and plopped down next to her, reaching for a pen and piece of paper.

“ _Kanga,_ _amá._ ”

“How was school?”

“It was alright. I got my clothes back from Eliza.”

“Oh? Did you go to practice?”

John pressed down on his pencil so hard the lead broke. Mary Eleanor frowned. “I’ll go get another one, bubbie.”

“Thank you, Mel.”

His mother set down the magazine she’d been reading once Mary Eleanor was gone. “John?”

“I went to practice to get my stuff, and I decided to just, y’know, shoot a goal, cause that’s what I’m  _ good _ at, and Burr showed up and was being really rude about it, and then Angelica showed up and reminded me it was a closed practice, but she was nice about it.”

“And?”

“And that’s all.”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. Does it have something to do with the new transfer that’s staying with the Washingtons? Did he get your spot?”

“No,” Laurens said quietly, squeezing his eyes shut with his head down. “Alex didn’t get my spot. He’s not a super athletic person.”

“Alex?”

“Oh--yeah. He’s friends with me and Mulligan and Laf.” Laurens fought back his blush. “His name is Alexander Hamilton.”

“He sounds nice. Where’s he from?”

“The Caribbean.”

“That’s good.” His mother paused and he relaxed, thinking it was over. “You like him, don’t you?”

“He’s been a good friend so far,” Laurens said slowly, blinking up at her. She was smiling at him like she knew something he didn’t.

“I caught that blush earlier, sweetie. Don’t be afraid to tell me the truth.”

“How much will you tell dad?”

“None of it, if you don’t want me to.”

“Please?” When she nodded and subtly crossed her heart, he climbed up on the couch next to her and curled in a tiny ball. “ _ Amá _ , he’s so good, but I think he has a crush on Eliza now-”

There was a loud crash just then and Mary Eleanor began to cry from upstairs. His mother jolted, already heading towards the sound. “Can we talk later, angel?”

“Yeah, of course. Let me know if I need to start the car.”

She laughed before flying upstairs, leaving Laurens alone on the couch with vague tears in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> never fear my friends :)) things are bad now :))) but it's okay :)))))


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for this
> 
> also suicide mention (it's ham's cousin, that's all, not one of the mains)

**From: ham**

16:24 John? I’m not sure what I did, but I’m sorry. Lafayette is putting on some movie called  
Mamma Mia if you’d like to come join us.

**To: ham**

17:55 hi

**From: ham**

17:55 Hi!

17:55 You missed the movie but I can probably put it back on if you’d like.

**To: ham**

17:57 no thanks. dad just got home and says he wants to talk after dinner

17:57 i just wanted to apologize for earlier.

**From: ham**

18:00 Do you want to talk about it?

**To: ham**

18:01 which part?

**From: ham**

18:01 Any part of it.

**To: ham**

18:01 oh

18:02 a little. but maybe after my talk with my dad

18:02 and id rather not talk about this afternoon, if thats okay. id rather just apologize and  
leave it at that

**From: ham**

18:04 Of course. Apology accepted.

~

The next day, Alex made a point to sit closer to Laurens, but Laurens wasn’t really talking to him--or anyone, really. And for once, his hair was down. It made him seem younger. He hadn’t texted back the night before, much to Alex’s chagrin. Alarm bells were ringing loudly in his mind, making it hard to focus on anything. _John has to be okay. John needs to be okay. I need to talk to John._

When lunch rolled around, Laurens was nowhere to be found. Lafayette and Mulligan weren’t worried, but maybe, Alex thought, they didn’t understand the danger. Laurens still wasn’t answering any of his texts.

“ _Mon ami, s'il vous plaît ne vous inquiétez pas. John est très bien. Il a...fermer avant. Je pense que c'est une bonne façon de le mettre. Il ira bien._ ”

“ _Je ne pense pas que vous comprenez. Je l'ai vu des choses comme ça avant. J'ai le droit d'être inquiet pour lui._ ”

“ _Combien de temps avez-vous le connaissez, Alexander? Nous sommes ses meilleurs amis, et nous savons qu'il va bien._ ”

“Hey, can we try talking in English instead, please?”

“My apologies, ‘ercules. Alex is unnecessarily worried about John.”

“ _Il est nécessaire!_ ” Alex groaned, grabbing his bag. “I’m going to find him.”

“Alexander!”

His first stop was the library, but no luck. And he wasn’t in any of their classrooms, or any other classroom, for that matter. Alex wasn’t done looking, though.

_Where would I go if I were John Laurens and incredibly sad?_

And then the answer was clear.

~

Laurens preferred the field at dawn, but noon would have to work for now. His lunch lay untouched next to him, and his shoes had been discarded somewhere by the bleachers. He didn't really care. The world seemed bigger from center field. No trees to block the way, no buildings--just him, spread eagle, staring at the sky.

Until a shadow fell over him.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to find me,” Laurens mumbled, blinking slowly. “ _Bienvenue_.”

“You shouldn’t just disappear like that, John.”

Laurens froze before sitting up, turning to stare at his new companion. “James Madison?”

Madison smiled slightly, sinking to the ground next to Laurens. “You should have heard Alex. He was screaming for you in the auditorium. I think he was eighty percent sure you were in there. Which doesn’t have any basis in truth, I assume.”

“Well, it’s quiet, and I did say something about it the other day,” Laurens said quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“He sounded like a fool.”

“That’s definitely Ham.”

“Are you alright?”

Laurens kept quiet. Madison looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“John?”  
“In so many senses of the word, I suppose so.”

“Oh?”

“Well, I'm not dead yet. Some people consider that good.”

Madison was silent for a moment. “Your dad again?”

Laurens shrugged. “What else?”

“Did he find out why you got kicked off the soccer team?”

Madison seemed calm, but with him it was hard to tell if a storm was ever brewing. Laurens eyed him cautiously. “What do you know?”

“Nothing, other than rumors that aren't true. You didn't try to sleep with Angelica to become the captain, and you didn't try to seduce Aaron while he was drunk.” Madison shrugged. “Those are the popular ones.”

“So no one thinks I'm the victim,” Laurens huffed, hiding his face. “They think I had it coming.”

“I don't.”

“I know.”

The bell rang, but neither of them moved. “I have Adams,” Laurens said finally. Madison chuckled.

“Then you should go. Make sure Alex hasn’t wasted away trying to find you in the auditorium.”

Madison handed Laurens his shoes as he stood up, making the smaller boy smile gratefully. “ _Ahéheeʼ._ ”

“ _Aoo’._ And John?”

“Yes?”

Madison paused for a long moment, staring at Laurens with unnervingly knowing eyes. “Let me know when you’re home tonight,” he said finally, glancing back down at the ground. “I get worried sometimes.”

“Yeah, I know. And I will,” Laurens promised, hesitantly squeezing the other boy’s arm. “Thank you for this. It means a lot.”

“I do what I can. Go on, now,” Madison laughed, swallowing a grimace into a smile. Laurens steadily trudged away, every once in a while reaching up to push back some of his wild curls. Madison watched him go, quietly deciding that he didn’t need to attend his class with Laurens tomorrow. Or the next day.

~

“John!”

Laurens waved Alex away, making his way to his seat quickly. “Hi, Ham, I need to-”

“I couldn’t find you at lunch, and you haven’t been answering my texts, and--don’t walk away from me! I’ve been worried about you, you just _disappeared-_ ”

“Yes. That’s a thing people do when they need space. Go sit down.”

“John, are you okay?” Alex was leaning over Laurens’s desk, trying to make the other boy look at him. Laurens was steadily not looking up.

“Yes. Sit down.”

And of course Alex sat down in Mulligan’s seat. Mulligan, who was on the way over to his seat, stopped, paused, and turned to look at Lafayette hesitantly.

“ _Alex, monsieur Adams a dit que vous ne pouvez pas rester là. Revenez à votre propre siège._ ”

“Ham, when I said sit down I meant over there. In your assigned seat. Please.”

“ _Are you okay?_ ”

“Yes, I’m fine!” Laurens huffed, hoping his hair hid his blush well enough that people would stop looking.

Alex only paused for a moment before shaking his head with a quiet “You’re lying. What’s wrong?”

At this point the entire classroom was staring, looking up with inquisitive minds and questionable doubts.

Laurens stared at Alex for a few seconds before blinking quickly and turning back to his desk. “Go away, Alexander,” he said finally.

“John-”

“I said go away. _Por el amor de dios, no se puede tomar una pista? No quiero hablar con usted acerca de él._ _Vete a la mierda!_ ”

“I don’t speak Spanish,” Alex protested as Mulligan started to put his stuff down. Slowly Alex stood up, starting to back away with a betrayed look on his face.

“Alex, you should go sit down,” Mulligan muttered, glancing to the door quickly. “Adams is coming.”

Alex paused, glaring at Laurens, before storming back over to his desk. Laurens didn’t look over for the rest of the period. Alex tried not to look over but kept failing, keeping his eyes trained on the board until he was suddenly tracing the other boy’s curls and slope of his nose with his gaze. He’d snap straight and go back to taking notes, but it wasn’t long before his notes were a nonsensical mess of “John Laurens is mad at me” and “I talk too much” and “I pissed Laurens off”. The rest of the day was much the same, as Alex couldn’t focus on anything, not even his phone long enough to register that he had several texts from Laurens. During the final class of the day Laurens went home early, claiming he felt sick. It wasn’t until Alex got home that he checked his phone, saw the texts, and said a quick goodbye to Lafayette, immediately shutting himself up in his room so he could be distraction free.

~

**From: l'énigme**

14:59 alex, im sorry about what happened in english

14:59 its just that i couldnt admit in front of the entire class that i actually am not okay

15:00 and ill answer any question you ask as long as its just between you and me

15:00 and you dont make a big spectacle of it

15:00 and you dont go around telling laf or mulligan and bring it up again

15:00 is that fair for me to ask

**To: l'énigme**

15:43 I don’t appreciate getting treated like that by one of my friends, John Laurens.

**From: l'énigme**

15:43 well i dont appreciate getting called out in front of the entire class when i want to

**To: l'énigme**

15:45 ...when you want to what?

**From: l'énigme**

15:46 nothing

15:46 nevr mind

**To: l'énigme**

15:47 Does this have something to do with your dad?

**From: l'énigme**

15:50 hey, have you ever heard of this fun game called stay the fuck out of peoples personal

lives when youve known them for maybe 2 weeks at best

**To: l'énigme**

15:50 You said any question.

**From: l'énigme**

15:52 i did in fact say that

15:52 but i assumed you wanted to be my friend

15:53 and not psychoanalyze me or bring up things that are obviously kind of sensitive

**To: l'énigme**

15:53 Let me tell you a story.

15:56 I had a cousin named Peter Lytton. My older brother and I lived with him for a while.  
Peter was nice, but he always seemed distracted, and he would go off by himself a lot,  
and he wouldn’t talk to anyone, but he always claimed he was fine. And after every  
business meeting he went to, he’d go in his room and sob for hours or lock the door and  
be completely silent. Of course we were worried, as anyone would be. But he swore he  
was fine.

16:00 One day he came home, and he seemed really upset about something, but he just went  
to his room and said he was fine. He didn’t come out that night, or the next morning.  
Finally our uncle had to break down the door and it turns out he’d filled up the bathtub  
with water and attempted to drown himself and when that didn’t work he took a rope to  
his neck and strung himself up from the ventilation.

**From: l'énigme**

16:02 alex, im so sorry :(

**To: l'énigme**

16:03 You’ve been worrying me in the same way. Every time your dad comes up you shut  
down. You didn’t talk to anyone after he ‘talked with you’ last night--yes, I asked  
Lafayette and Mulligan about it, and they didn’t seem worried but I don’t think they’ve  
seen it before. Not like I have.

16:04 My point is that yes, I’ve known you for all of about maybe two weeks but you’re still  
important to me and I get worried when I think something is wrong.

16:05 I just want you to know that I’ll check up on you a lot, and if you need to talk to anyone,  
my number will always be available to you.

**From: l'énigme**

16:10 ill keep that in mind

16:11 but not tonight

16:11 maybe when im more stable

**To: l'énigme**

16:12 Of course.

16:12 Would you like to talk about something else?

**From: l'énigme**

16:13 thatd be nice

**To: l'énigme**

16:14 Okay. What are you up to?

~

On the other end of the phone, Laurens was having a blast making sure he didn’t accidentally mention to Alex that he was hanging out with James Madison and crying his eyes out.

“It’s okay, John.”

Laurens wiped at his tears, whining quietly when more immediately took their place. “I j-just don’t unders-understand…”

“What don’t you understand, angel?”

“Wh-why it’s always m-me who’s blubbering li-like an idiot! I-I’m a good pers-person, y’know?”

And sometimes things like this happened. After The Incident with Lafayette and Mulligan that left him sore and faithless in his friends, he needed somewhere else to turn. That somewhere else happened to be James Madison, who had comforted him in study hall one day last year and then was on Laurens’s speed dial for days like these. They _could_ hang out when Laurens was stable, but both of them knew it wasn’t the same without Laurens crying over his shit family and Madison comforting him with names like ‘angel’ and ‘sweetheart’. Trying to call him those names outside of the safe space of the bedroom was out of the question, because that just wasn’t something normal people did. It was fine.

“I know, angel, I know. You deserve so much better. You deserve the world.”

“Y’know what I d-don’t deserve? Alex f-fucking Ham-Hamilton. He’s hon-honestly the best person t-to ever ex-exist.” Laurens stared at his phone pitifully before shooting back a lame “nothing much, just chillin”. Madison watched him through cautious eyes, pretending not to care about how much those words stung.

“He’s a good friend to you,” Madison said slowly. Laurens didn’t notice his disappointment.

“I d-don’t deserve him.”

“You deserve the best, John. And that might include him.”

A door slammed on the first floor and Laurens jumped, looking towards the sound and pushing himself away from Madison.

“You need to g-go.”

He still stumbled over his words, but immediately his tone was flat and emotionless. Madison stared at Laurens for a few seconds before Laurens jumped into action, pushing Madison off the bed and towards the window.

“That wasn’t a sugg-suggestion! Get out. Text me when you’re home. G-goodbye.”

Madison climbed out the window and stood on the roof for a few seconds, watching Laurens pull himself together quickly. Then, before Laurens could react to him again, he dashed away, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake.

~

“John Laurens, _mon amour_! You are looking _gai_ this morning.”

“He’s super gay,” Mulligan laughed, shoving Laurens lightheartedly. Alex watched him cautiously, waiting for any sign of something wrong. His hair was up again, and he was smiling like normal, but…

“Morning, y’all! Oh, and Mulligan--you can most kindly suck upon my ass.” The three laughed and Alex chuckled belatedly, making Laurens turn to him. “Well good mornin’, darlin’ Alex. It’s quite nice to see you out on this _loverly_ day we are having.”

Lafayette tilted his head like a lost puppy. “ _M_ _on chéri_? Are you feeling alright?”

“I have never been better, my dearest Frenchman.” Laurens was smiling brightly. “I feel better than a turkey the day after Thanksgiving!”

“So what’s with the accent?” Mulligan asked as the foursome began to make their way towards school.

“Well, I _am_ a proper southern gentleman, and I need to act as such, don’t I?” The accent was overwhelming and suddenly Alex found it hard to walk, much less contribute to the conversation, with his pants as tight as they were. “Alex, darlin’, why don’t you hurry on up and walk next to me?”

“I...ah...I think I’ll be okay back here,” Alex said lamely, casually pretending to go through his back so it could hang in front of his crotch. “I need to find my, um, notebook.”

“ _Vous le mettez dans votre sac ce matin, Alex, et vous ne pouvez pas écrire en elle sur le chemin de l'école. Assurément, il peut attendre jusqu'à ce que vous obtenez à la classe._ ”

“ _Non, il ne peut pas, en fait, je dois vous assurer que je l'ai...pour moi-même. Je suis oublieux de cette façon._ ”

“ _Je pense que vous êtes plein de merde. Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas? Vous marchez drôle._ ” Lafayette turned and began walking backwards so he could look at Alex more clearly. Absentmindedly, Mulligan took hold of the Frenchman’s elbow to make sure he didn’t trip over anything.

“ _Ouais, eh bien, votre visage est drôle, donc. Est-ce à cause de_ Mulligan?”

“Why am I getting dragged into this? I don’t even speak the language,” Mulligan said, missing the way Lafayette blushed but not the way he stumbled almost immediately.

“ _Vous ne savez pas ce que vous parlez! Reprends-le!_ ”

“ _Bonjour, amis, mon nom est tortue. S'il vous plait parlez anglais,_ ” Laurens said quickly, dropping behind to walk with Alex since he obviously wasn’t going to catch up to him. “Please, y’all.”

Lafayette glared at Alex before spinning around, effectively ripping his elbow out of Mulligan’s hold. “ _Baise stupide._ ”

“ _Suce mon cul,_ Lafayette.”

“Alex, darlin’, please get your panties out of a twist. I’m sure Lafayette was just pokin’ a little fun atcha.” Laurens bumped shoulders with Alex, who winced and automatically pressed his bag closer to him, which really didn’t help anything.

“Mmhmm. Yeah. Is the accent absolutely _necessary_ , John?”

Laurens paused for a moment before catching up with Alex again. “I guess not.” The accent was gone now, but his tone was sad.

“I like it, it’s just...hard to understand you when all you do is say southern colloquialisms,” Alex said quickly, going into his default mode: rapid-fire speech. “Because really, who knows how turkeys feel on any given day, right? It’s very possible that, because they’re birds, they have no concept of time or holidays, and therefore wouldn’t be glad that it’s the day after one, but also they might not feel gladness at all. And then there’s the matter that even if they were safe on Thanksgiving, it doesn’t mean they’re entirely safe, as they might be the one getting saved for Christmas instead-”

“Ham. I get the point. It’s fine.”

“No, really, I mean--you can keep the accent, is what I’m trying to say,” Alex said desperately, stopping and pulling on Laurens’s elbow until he stopped too. Laurens stared at him for a long moment before a slow smile spread across his face.

“Well, it makes me real darn happy to hear you say that, darlin’ Alexander. Shall we go face our day, then?”

“Well, it is quite loverly, isn’t it?” Alex laughed. Laurens scrunched up his nose.

“Bless your heart, Alex, it’s only cute when I do it. Now c’mon, y’all!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of questions ??? honestly same
> 
> idk why laurens decided to go southern (actually i sort of do but sh)
> 
> i could have written so much more but i decided to save it for next time so but hey at least it's long to make up for the length of time it took me to update this


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes. sort of abuse tw in a flashback, but it's sort of vague. still there tho. also alcohol tw (just in case, no actual alcohol is ingested but) proceed with caution. if you wanna skip it then it might be easiest to skip the entire scene with angie/burr/laurens and pick up with the angie/laurens convo after

John Laurens and his Ridiculous Southern Accent ™  were just fine up until lunch, when Aaron Burr and his gang decided to intervene.

“John Laurens.”

“Well bless my heart, it’s Aaron Burr!”

Alex looked over cautiously, making sure Laurens was actually okay. It seemed like he was. Laurens caught his eye and leaned over, whispering quietly, “If brains were leather, he couldn’t saddle a flea.”

Alex snorted. Burr glared at him. “Is something funny, Alexander?”

“What do you want, Burr?” Lafayette interjected sullenly. “Do you not ‘ave anywhere else you could be?”

“Eliza was just saying how much she missed you, John, and I thought instead of inviting you to us we could just come to you.” Burr’s smile was sickly sweet and Alex scooted closer to Laurens without thinking.

“If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it,” Laurens grinned. “Come on over, y’all!”

Rachel and Lee were already there, fighting to get a seat next to Laurens and say hello; Burr simply sat himself down next to Lafayette, eyes trained on Alex; and suddenly there was a well-manicured hand on his shoulder and a soft voice in his ear.

“Sorry, do you mind if I sit here? I’d really like to sit next to John today. I promise we won’t intervene again.”

Alex looked up, straight into the face of Elizabeth Schuyler, and immediately blushed. Hard.

“Uh--yeah, of course, let me-” In his haste to make room, Alex moved over on the bench and onto thin air, depositing him straight onto the floor next to Peggy Schuyler’s feet. Elizabeth covered her mouth in a quiet giggle.

“You didn’t have to go that far. Alex, right? Alex Hamilton?”

“I--yeah, that’s me. Hi. Hello.” He stood up and brushed his hands off, extending his hand. “Alexander Hamilton, nice to meet you. Um--are you lost?”

Elizabeth looked taken aback, cutting her eyes over to Peggy quickly. At this, the entire table turned to them, watching with various mixes of jealousy and intrigue. “No, I don’t think I am…?”

“Really?” Alex coughed, gearing himself up for his next line. “Because heaven is quite a long way from here, angel. I mean...Elizabeth.”

Lee immediately stood up and burst into applause and Rachel wasn’t far behind. “You smooth motherfucker.”

“Teach me your ways!”

Elizabeth, meanwhile, was blushing almost as hard as Alex had been. “You’re only wrong about one thing, Alex. I prefer to go by Eliza, not Elizabeth.”

“Okay, Eliza. You’re still a long way from home.”

“I live two blocks away.”

“Eliza, he’s trying to hit on you,” Peggy whispered loudly, making some of the table laugh. Eliza glanced at her brother.

“I know. But I’m not letting him get me that easily.”

Alex grinned and took her hand, bowing and kissing it casually. “Well, if it takes being around Aaron Burr for us to meet it will have been worth it.”

Burr began to protest but quickly realized no one was paying attention to him but Laurens, who was steadfastly ignoring the love fest that was happening right over his shoulder. At that, Burr smiled; Laurens just looked down to the table.

“I never realized you had friends this smooth, John,” Eliza said lightly, pretending she wasn’t blushing and sitting down next to Laurens. Alex continued grinning, standing next to Eliza proudly. Peggy was watching the scene cautiously but fondly. “You should take lessons.”

Instinctively Laurens clenched his hands and turned his head sharply away from Eliza, but after a moment he forced himself to relax and slowly released his fists. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Maybe I should.”

Nobody seemed to notice this, of course, except Lafayette and Peggy. Burr was glowing in his own satisfaction; Eliza and Alex were both smiling at each other; and Mulligan was eyeing Lee and Rachel, who were flirting silently. Suddenly, a voice interrupted whatever Eliza was about to say.

“Burr! I told you to stop that. What are you--Aaron, I’m  _ talking _ to you!”

“Angelica?” Eliza glanced up as the entire table turned to see the eldest Schuyler making her way towards the table.

“I told you to  _ cut it out _ , Burr. What the  _ hell _ do you think you’re doing?”

“They missed John,” Burr shrugged, gesturing vaguely towards Eliza and Peggy. “I had to give the people what they want.”

“Not at the expense of-” She cut herself off abruptly, glancing around the table quickly. “Well. Team meeting.  _ Now _ . Come on.”

“Angel, we just sat down,” Eliza whined, putting her hand on John’s arm in an attempt to get him to help. He just glanced up at Angelica.

“At the expense of what? Or who?”

“My co-captain is right, we should be going. Come on, team,” Burr grinned, standing up and nodding back towards their usual table. “Field trip’s over.”

Eliza turned to Laurens, but Laurens jerked his arm out of her grip. He was still glaring at Angelica. Peggy cleared his throat and started pulling Eliza away as Lee and Rachel trudged after Burr and Angelica. After the table had been returned to normal, Alex tried so sit back down. Laurens stood up as soon as Alex got close and Lafayette stood up too, watching him worriedly.

“ _ Mon ami _ ?”

“I can’t believe...that Burr...would stoop  _ that low _ ,” Laurens grumbled, shoulders shaking. Mulligan glanced between Lafayette and Laurens for a few moments before turning to Alex.

“What exactly did Burr do?”

“No idea. Do you think Eliza was flirting back with me?” Alex mused, still lost in the magic of the moment. Laurens shoved away from the table and started stalking off towards the door.

“ _ Mon ami, où vas-tu? Le déjeuner est pas fini! Est ce que tu vas bien? _ ”

“ _ ¡Déjame solo! _ ” He shoved through the doors and let them slam shut behind him, making the entire cafeteria go quiet for a moment. Across the room, Burr laughed, satisfied. Mulligan sighed.

“Okay, I guess  _ I’ll _ go after him.”

“He said to leave him alone,” Alex said quickly, going for Mulligan’s arm. Mulligan shrugged him away.

“And you really think he meant that? No way.”

“John?”

“Let it go, Lafayette. And sit down, Mulligan. He’s fine.”

“You don’t know him like we do.”

“He just needs a minute to cool off from whatever Burr did.”

“ _ Il est pas ce que Burr a fait, vas te faire encule stupide, il était toi! Pour l'amour de Dieu. Je vais aller après lui. _ ” Lafayette stormed off, sending an icy glare towards anyone who caught his eye.

Alex watched him go, relatively unfazed, until a sudden thought crossed his mind.

_ Hey connard, that should be you. Didn’t you say chaque fois que John a besoin de moi je serai là? Bit hypocritical of you to be so calm about this, innit? _

He quickly attempted to justify it.  _ I don’t even know why he’s mad. _

_ Shouldn’t it be your job to find out, then? You remember Peter. You didn’t try enough with him. Est-ce la façon dont vous allez perdre John aussi? _

“Lafayette is right,” Alex said suddenly, blinking quickly and looking towards Mulligan with fire in his eyes. “We need to-”

But Mulligan was gone. So was Lafayette. His entire table of friends was gone.

“Guys?”

He hadn’t felt this small in years. They were so quick to abandon him without even making sure he was coming with them. That stung.

Suddenly Eliza slid into view across from him, greeting him with a soft smile. “Alex? Hey. Do you mind if Peggy and I sit with you?” Peggy also walked up then, waving brightly.

“Angelica is being a bitch.”

Alex glanced over at the soccer table, but Angelica was nowhere to be seen. “Is she throwing a hissy fit somewhere else, then?” he asked, assessing the two to make sure he hadn’t offended them.

“Yeah, she and Burr were going to have a ‘talk’,” Peggy grinned, sitting down next to Alex. They weren’t offended, then. Thank god. “I hope he gets fired.”

“You can’t fire a student co-captain, Peg.”

“Impeachment,” Alex said quickly. Peggy and Eliza looked at him for a quiet moment. “You can’t fire Burr, but you can impeach him.” They still stared at him blankly. “To impeach, a verb meaning to call into question the integrity or validity of a practice?”

“We know what it means, Alex,” Eliza said softly, quieting Peggy’s protest with her eyes. “Do you really think he could be impeached? I thought that only worked on presidents.”

“It can work on anyone in charge, I believe, so long as there’s probable reason and the person in question has some sort of position of power. In this case, unfair expellment of a fellow student from the soccer team-”

“The most talented player, too. It made no sense to kick him off,” Peggy grinned. Alex nodded.

“Precisely. And without consulting his co-captain, right?”

“Right!” Eliza said excitedly.

“Oh my god. We’re getting John back on the soccer team,” Peggy laughed. Alex bumped his shoulder.

“Not yet. We need to impeach Burr first. Who’s the soccer sponsor?”

“Mr. Seabury,” Eliza said. “Why?”

“It’s time to get the adults involved.”

~

Laurens stormed back out to centerfield; of  _ course _ Angelica and Burr followed him. Apparently centerfield was the only place life-changing things could happen.

“Do you enjoy taking every opportunity to ruin my life, Aaron? Huh? Is that how you get your kicks?”

“He says he didn't mean to-” Angelica started, but Laurens cut her off with a cry of frustration.

“You know he did. You  _ know _ he did! Why are you taking his side? You're supposed to be my friend, Angie.”

“Stop trying to make yourself the victim here, John. That is one thing you never were.” Burr’s tone was cold and unforgiving.

“I'm sorry you got butthurt because I turned you down, but I wasn't going to be another fling to help you ‘figure yourself out’ or whatever you said your excuse was.” Laurens scrubbed at his face. “I am gay, and you knew that, and you wanted to take an opportunity to  _ humiliate _ me. That's not something I'm going to agree to.”

“You won't push burgers and beer nuts for me, John?” Burr placed a hand over his heart. “I'm wounded.”

“This is what I'm  _ talking _ about!”

“I don’t get it,” Angelica said, looking back and forth between the two.

“It’s a reference from a movie John and I went to see on our first date,” Burr smirked. “And he knows exactly which part I want him to remember.”

“No, wait--you two dated? When was this?”

“We went on  _ one date _ and he tried to sleep with me afterwards, but I’m not that kind of guy.” Laurens was turning red. “And we were supposed to be studying anyway, but he said we should skip the studying and go out for the night. I thought-”

“John, nobody will believe you if you say that. And anyway, don’t you remember? I found you one night on a little side street, drunk as you could be,” Burr said sweetly. Laurens was shaking now. “And when I tried to help you, good samaritan that I am, you insisted on paying me back by sexually pleasing me. I refused to let you, because I didn’t want you to regret it. I had hoped it was only a one night thing, but I never realized you got drunk so often. Like last night, poor thing.”

“Last night?” Angelica said quietly. “You were drunk last night?”

“No!” Laurens said quickly. “I--you can’t actually  _ believe _ him, Angie.”

“What were you doing last night, Jaws? If you weren’t drunk?” Angelica didn’t seem angry, really, but it was hard to tell who she believed.

“I was-”

His throat went dry.

“...at home.”

“Drinking from the liquor cabinet? That’s not safe, John,” Burr tutted. Laurens spun towards him.

“I wasn’t-”

“What were you doing at home?”

_ “John, I need you to come downstairs for a moment.” _

_ “C-coming, dad.” _

“Just...studying.”

“By yourself?”

_ “Dad--I’m sorry, I didn’t-” _

_ “You managed to get yourself kicked off the soccer team? Why am I surprised you fucked up that badly?” _

_ “It wasn’t-” _

He had two choices: expose Madison and have to explain why Madison was there, in turn exposing his family too; or lie.

“Yeah, by myself. I can study by myself at home, right?”

_ “Quit running away, John, you know you deserve this punishment.” _

_ “Dad-” _

_ “Say you deserve this.” _

_ Whack. _

“Not if you have a drinking problem you can’t.”

_ “I--I don’t-” _

_ “Say it!” _

_ Whack. _

“I don’t have a drinking problem! He’s pulling this out of his ass!”

_ “Dad, I’m sorry-” _

_ Whack. _

_ “I deserve this-” _

_ Whack. _

_ “I deserve…” _

_ Whack. Whack. Whack. _

Angelica put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched so hard he fell to the ground. She looked sorry for him.

“Perhaps we should leave him be, Angelica. The first step to recovery is acceptance. Let him accept it on his own.”

Angelica nodded and a sob broke through Laurens’s lips. Suddenly he realized he was crying, hard.

“I-I’m not-”

“Maybe you should head home, Jaws,” Angelica said quietly, looking away. “Get some rest. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

As Burr and Angelica walked off together, Laurens realized he’d been backed into a corner. Either reveal to Angelica the real reason he was home last night, and prove it by asking Madison to get involved, or let Burr win and admit to a drinking problem he didn’t have. He’d never had more than a few sips of wine at church before. He  _ hated _ the taste of alcohol. Yet Burr was still winning. How could such an arrogant, loud-mouth, bastardizing bother be able to turn all of his friends and former teammates against him so quickly?

~

From: Angie

16:30 Jaws? Hey. I never actually figured out what lunch was about or why it was so bad.

To: Angie

16:35 its complicated

16:36 ill explain it if youll believe me when i say i really dont have a drinking problem

From: Angie

16:38 I didn’t think you did. But you seemed really upset out on the field, so I wanted to give  
you some space, even if it meant Burr thought he won. So what’s the big secret?

To: Angie

16:40 i think i have a crush on alex but i think alex has a crush on eliza and i think eliza also  
has a crush on alex and really in this situation im gonna end up losing and it kind of  
sucks because burr knows and enjoys making me miserable

From: Angie

16:41 I can assure you Eliza doesn’t have a crush on Alex.

16:42 I think.

16:44 Never mind. I cannot assure you of that. I’m sorry, Jaws.

To: Angie

16:45 im not surprised, weve always had similar taste

16:46 if it comes up will you tell her someone else laid claim first but dont tell her it was me

From: Angie

16:48 She apparently figured it out on her own, but I don’t think she’s going to back down.

To: Angie

16:50 the game is on, then

From: Angie

16:51 What does that mean?

16:55 John?

16:58 Please don’t fight my sister.

17:02 Oh my god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry y'all

**Author's Note:**

> i have more written and it'll probably be up soon, let me know if y'all like it or w/e


End file.
